Back To Serious Matters: Barack Obama Would Act Like A Tonic On Government.
Read more from Larry Webster below:
Obama would act like a tonic on government
By Larry Webster
CONTRIBUTING COLUMNIST
Slemp inherited whatever it was that compelled his mother to tell her church that as long as she was a member there, nothing would be unanimous.
Show Slemp an election in which one candidate is supposed to landslide the opponent, and he is just about bound to be for the underdog. But Barack Obama is the first candidate for whom Slemp tried to give out whiskey on the election grounds and nobody would take it.
Slemp's real reason for backing Obama is that Slemp is grateful to Africa for the banjo. And he wishes Obama actually was a Muslim, saying it would be a good time to have one for president.
Slemp says that if Republican county judges can turn Christians into Muslims, the safest thing would be to lock the county judges up in Guantanamo before somebody hires them to turn all Christians into Muslims.
Most of the women Slemp knows could use a good veiling.
Always the entrepreneur, Slemp's latest venture is a poke plantation. Slemp thinks Obama is like poke, you either love him or hate him. Slemp figures most people want a little poke and will come to love his product, grown in funny spots at the edge of fields.
The country people have always used poke to clean them out in the spring. You have to be fairly close to plumbing to eat poke, but with some fried, salt-cured shoulder and a boiled egg or two, Slemp would be willing to take the risk.
There are other risks to eating poke. If you eat it too late or take the wrong parts of it, they say, poke can be fateful. Slemp, a daredevil, always tried to eat poke up to about 30 minutes before it would kill you.
Slemp thinks Obama will act on the government like poke acts on people, which would be a real good thing. Slemp has nothing against the sons of admirals or the sons of the 41st president or the wife of the 42nd, but he thinks them unlikely to have the desired poke effect. It appears that all of those kinds of people will only further impact the national bowel.
Slemp is not one of those people between Barack and the hard place of voting for John McCain. Slemp certainly doesn't want somebody we have tortured for five years to be elected leader of one of those countries we have decided to label as our enemy.
He is also a little bit worried about somebody on our side who has been tortured running things. He fears McCain will declare war against any country in which anybody knows how to split an atom and that is in missile range of Israel.
To all those people who say they are not ready for a black president, Slemp says they are the same bunch who weren't ready to end slavery and who weren't ready to end segregation.
They are like Canola Jane when Slemp is trying to get her out of the house to get to the ballgame on time.
They are never ready, and sometimes you just can't wait on them.
Larry Webster is a Pikeville lawyer.
Obama would act like a tonic on government
By Larry Webster
CONTRIBUTING COLUMNIST
Slemp inherited whatever it was that compelled his mother to tell her church that as long as she was a member there, nothing would be unanimous.
Show Slemp an election in which one candidate is supposed to landslide the opponent, and he is just about bound to be for the underdog. But Barack Obama is the first candidate for whom Slemp tried to give out whiskey on the election grounds and nobody would take it.
Slemp's real reason for backing Obama is that Slemp is grateful to Africa for the banjo. And he wishes Obama actually was a Muslim, saying it would be a good time to have one for president.
Slemp says that if Republican county judges can turn Christians into Muslims, the safest thing would be to lock the county judges up in Guantanamo before somebody hires them to turn all Christians into Muslims.
Most of the women Slemp knows could use a good veiling.
Always the entrepreneur, Slemp's latest venture is a poke plantation. Slemp thinks Obama is like poke, you either love him or hate him. Slemp figures most people want a little poke and will come to love his product, grown in funny spots at the edge of fields.
The country people have always used poke to clean them out in the spring. You have to be fairly close to plumbing to eat poke, but with some fried, salt-cured shoulder and a boiled egg or two, Slemp would be willing to take the risk.
There are other risks to eating poke. If you eat it too late or take the wrong parts of it, they say, poke can be fateful. Slemp, a daredevil, always tried to eat poke up to about 30 minutes before it would kill you.
Slemp thinks Obama will act on the government like poke acts on people, which would be a real good thing. Slemp has nothing against the sons of admirals or the sons of the 41st president or the wife of the 42nd, but he thinks them unlikely to have the desired poke effect. It appears that all of those kinds of people will only further impact the national bowel.
Slemp is not one of those people between Barack and the hard place of voting for John McCain. Slemp certainly doesn't want somebody we have tortured for five years to be elected leader of one of those countries we have decided to label as our enemy.
He is also a little bit worried about somebody on our side who has been tortured running things. He fears McCain will declare war against any country in which anybody knows how to split an atom and that is in missile range of Israel.
To all those people who say they are not ready for a black president, Slemp says they are the same bunch who weren't ready to end slavery and who weren't ready to end segregation.
They are like Canola Jane when Slemp is trying to get her out of the house to get to the ballgame on time.
They are never ready, and sometimes you just can't wait on them.
Larry Webster is a Pikeville lawyer.
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posted by KYJurisDoctor at 3:33 PM
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