I Hate To Read That Porn Star "Stormy Daniels" Pulled Out Of The Senate Race Against Senator David "I Like Prostitutes" Vitter. She Would Have Fit In!

Porn star bows out of Senate run
BY JOSH SHAFFER

RALEIGH -- Had she won, Stormy Daniels might have been the only U.S. senator who could perform a lap dance, lip-sync Motley Crue and descend a staircase in stiletto heels.

But from The Men's Club in Raleigh, bathed in purple light and dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, the Louisiana-born sizzler announced that she would drop her bid for national office - canceling what could have been the nation's most arousing race.

"I thought I would be accused of making a mockery of the system," Daniels said, a stud twink ling in her cheek. "But you can be blond and sexy and ... not be an idiot. For some reason, our society equates sexuality with stupidity."

Star of more than 100 adult films, the curvaceous performer found herself drafted last year into challenging U.S. Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana, the Republican incumbent whose family-values reputation suffered when his phone number turned up in the records of an escort service run by the "D.C. Madam."

Serious effort

Widely considered a gag, the "Draft Stormy" movement formed a Web site. But Daniels, born Stephanie Gregory Clifford, chose to take it seriously. She traveled around Louisiana on a listening tour, expecting to be heckled but instead winning praise for her honesty.

A few weeks ago, following the Republican National Committee scandal in which party officials spent nearly $2,000 in a sex-themed Hollywood nightclub, Daniels declared that tab to be admirably frugal and switched her party affiliation to Republican. She called for creative thinking and entrepreneurship, pledging to make a final decision on her candidacy April 15 - in the middle of her stint at Raleigh's Men's Club, where she is performing through Saturday.

Then reality hit.

"It's expensive," Daniels said. "I actually found that very sad. The cost of running for office keeps the best people from running. You need someone to represent the average person, and the average person can't afford to run. You get this vicious cycle of Ivy Leaguers."

From Tulane University in New Orleans, a political scientist said he doubted her campaign had much traction. "I think it was more on a joke level," professor Christopher Fettweis said.

Signing copies of her DVDs early Thursday morning, Daniels spoke freely about calling off her run. Later on tax day, she released an official statement as promised.

Just like Palin?

In the statement, she compared herself to former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

"To begin with, like Governor Palin, I have become a target of the cynical stalwarts of the status quo," Daniels wrote. "Simply because I did not fit in their mold of what an independent working woman should be, the media and political elite have sought to relegate my sense of civic responsibility to mere sideshow antics."

Vitter, meanwhile, has raised more than $4 million and is actively running against President Barack Obama's policies. He faces no major rival within his party and is expected to face Democratic U.S. Rep. Charlie Melancon in November.

But Daniels, referring to the sexual activity that became widely associated with Vitter after he admitted "a very serious sin," jabbed at the senator for falsely trumpeting his own virtue.

"He's like all politicians," she said. "He's very self-centered. The whole diapers scandal, I'm the last person to judge someone's sexual flavors. He wore a diaper. Big [expletive] deal. He didn't hurt anyone. But he's a hypocrite."

And with that, she returned to the admiring crowd at The Men's Club, where she was still faring well in the poles.

Editor's comment: OK, maybe, I shouldn't have used the words "pulled out".

Oh well.